Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff has been a massive international bestseller. The story of the title’s genesis is recounted by the author in the introduction. Carlson was asked by a foreign publisher to get an endorsement for his book You Can Feel Good Again from bestselling author Wayne Dyer. As Dr. Dyer had provided a blurb for a previous book, Carlson said he would try and sent out a request. Time went by and nothing came back, and six months later Carlson’s publishers sent him a copy of the foreign edition. To his extreme annoyance, the publisher had used Dyer’s endorsement of the previous book for the current one! Carlson wrote a heartfelt apology to Dyer, explaining that he was trying to get the edition taken off the shelves. Some worried weeks later, Dyer wrote back with the following:

 

“Richard. There are two rules for living in harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2) It’s all small stuff. Let the quote stand. Love, Wayne.”

 

For Carlson, the graceful response inspired a super-practical guide that rests on an ethereal spiritual law: taking the path of least resistance.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff is no manual for self-perfection, simply a collection of ideas for avoiding struggle where possible. The 100 strategies, elaborated in short essays, have apparently proven their worth among Carlson’s clients and readers.

 

The book has the quirky good-heartedness and love of people that you find in the likes of Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale, combined with an eastern conception of time and the value of stillness. However, the real value is in its awareness of the crushing demands of modern life and the culture in which we live. We might feel good about the meditation camp we went on or our weekend walk along the beach, but its effects soon wear off and by Tuesday morning we are again driving fast, getting angry, and hating our lack of time.

How do we bring that peace and perspective into the moment by moment of real life? This is Carlson’s compelling question, and one of the refreshing things about Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff is that it tells you not to worry about having bad feelings. Don’t try to get rid of them, it says, but do try to put them into a larger context.

Many of Carlson’s remedies are quite simple, others novel. Some of the interesting strategies among the 100 listed include the following.

 

Getting up long before his wife and children gives Carlson a “golden hour” in which to read, meditate, or think about the day in peace and solitude. Many have told him that this single act of becoming an early riser has revolutionized their life.

 

 

A frantic life of constant emergencies somehow seems to fit our idea of forceful, achieving individuals. Our idea of becoming more peaceful and loving seems to equate with a dreamy apathy. However, frantic thinking and constant movement leach motivation and real success from our lives. Carlson notes his good fortune at being surrounded by people who are gentle and relaxed, but who are outward success stories by any measure. If inner peace becomes your habit, there is ease in the way you achieve your goals and serve others.

 

This is a surprisingly easy way to become a more relaxed, loving per- son—try it.

 

John Lennon said that “Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans.” With attention to the present moment, fear—being associated mostly with an imaginary future—tends not to exist. You may be amazed how easily tomorrow’s troubles sort themselves out. Make this a habit of mind and see life subtly transformed.

 

 

With the frequent use of this question, Carlson finds himself actually laughing at things he used to worry about. The energy he once spent on getting angry and overwhelmed is now spent on his family and creative thought.

 

Don’t be afraid of the vacant moment. You are a human being, not a “human doing,” so just be and consider your boredness. You may be surprised at how it clears the mind (after getting over the initial dis- comfort) and provides new thoughts.

 

This is a super-valuable way of reassessing your priorities now, when it matters. Not many people, looking back on their life, would be pleased by how much of it they spent being uptight, with all the “small stuff” over which they sweated. Ask yourself: What sort of person was I? Did I do the things I loved and did I really love and cherish those close to me every day?

 

 

This nearly always provides perspective and compassion (as well as amusement).

 

Instead of always thinking of an accomplishment as an external thing, ask yourself about the achievements you have made in terms of your self. This could include, for instance, staying centered in the face of adversity.

 

The world is frequently not how you would like it to be. When some- one disapproves of you, even someone close, or if at work there is some sort of failure, acknowledge to yourself that this is the case, rather than automatically becoming emotional about it. After some time, things that once bothered you so much slip by without damage. In many ways, you are free of them.

 

Other strategies include:

 

 

 

If you are interested in self-help ideas but have no time to read books, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff may be the best compromise. Though it looks quite folksy and simplistic, the book is in fact grounded in cognitive therapy, which shows how closely feelings are the product of thoughts; by becoming more conscious of what you are thinking, you are in a position to change your thoughts and therefore your feelings. “Not sweating the small stuff” is not as cheesy as it sounds. The esteemed psychologist Abraham Maslow recognized it as a key feature of what he called the self-actualizing person, a person who has given up pettiness for an unusually wide view of the world and life.

The layout of the book is such that it can be grabbed when you have a moment and opened up at any random page for the perspective or inspiration you need. Free of lengthy argument or anecdote, it condenses what more learned writing has taken hundreds of pages to say. If only one or two of the strategies stays in your mind, it will have been worth reading.

 

Carlson grew up in Piedmont, California. He studied the psychology of happiness for his PhD, graduating in 1986. This led to a popular news- paper serialization called “Prescriptions for Happiness,” which launched his career as a happiness and stress-reduction expert.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff has sold over ten million copies and been translated into many languages. It was the No. 1 selling book in the US for two consecutive years.

Carlson’s 15 popular books include You Can Feel Good Again, Short Cut through Therapy, and, with Benjamin Shield, Handbook for the Soul and Handbook for the Heart. He has also written Don’t Worry, Make Money, Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love (with his wife Kristine),Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family, and For the Love of God: Handbook for the Spirit.

Carlson lives with his wife and two daughters in northern California.